Went to Denver Pop Culture Con

While I usually write all the time, I am still a little tired at times of these kind of things, but it was a must see event. I am still tired from yesterday and laughed a little at the idea. I'm a bit on the road to getting the final bits of editing done. As my Tumblr is saying it, I am ready and I will start typing it again.

So I am going to post a few pics of what I have seen.

As I am a weakling for The Magicians series, I had to go see Summer Bushil and it was awesome to meet the woman who signed my copy of the book. ^_^ I am very pleased with that and inspired.

So as you can see, I am finding other fans of the show, so I am totally pleased! I am happy to see the fact that we are out there.

Now I must get to the grind stone of sorts start working on my own story. I am setting up my space again in my room and we will be preparing to type up the story I have worked so ard on and there will be more artwork. This is my excitement!

Hello! I'm back!

All right, so apparently, I lost my author's page on Google+ oh well...I will be working on a new author's page soon, and might be putting it on...FB. So far I am not going to be going into detail of what I have been doing the last few months, most of it has been working on panels, other on my book...the rest is just me sleeping.

I am battling a head cold so I am not entirely awake while writing this. V_V Sorry but that happens when you are ill.

Other than that convention news I will be at StarFest 2019 on Saturday and hanging with my sister. We are horror and sci-fi buffs so no lie this will be the best ever, its the first time we sisters are seen in public and she has met people in my crowd.

I am getting read for 2019

I am still tired, I'm still working toward my book and also doing some writing contests.

I got to go to Daku Con which was a great convention the people there were amazing, I'm hoping when the conventions are for next year, I get to 2 of them. Sadly for me I have to take a break due to money and also my own health which took a bit of a back seat.

I am partially blind at the moment considering I have a cataract in my right eye. So seeing is kind of a pain in the neck, but as this is a writing blog I need to work on getting through this whole thing and start writing more.

I have met some great people in a chat room on FB who are giving me some clarity of what  want as a writer. I have tried to vent about it to my fiance which was not the greatest idea, but it was still a good way to get my head on straight about what I want in a story.

Truthfully Daku Con was the great end of the year and it was a wonderful moment in my life that I could see the world around me. Things have changed and people have changed so I don't hate the things that happened in my past, and I have Lynn to thank for also being an inspiration for a character because my old Vixen is certainly going to need Lynn.

I am at Daku Con, no pics yet

Well...I am doing the run through of my panels and enjoying a bit of a break even though I am still worrying about my laptop, my panels for tomorrow are not as extensive or weird. Though this one which is my Japanese Urban Legends panel is still pretty big and one of the ones that I spent the most time researching and working with.

I am giving credit to blameitonjorge, a YouTuber who is very interesting and has posted some interesting media as of late that has made my panels much easier on the research end. He also does a lot of work that has gotten me information that I would not regularly find just by doing more research into my panel. The truth is that research and also working with others helps get the information and I do love having to look at his profile and also learn he is a great person to talk to regarding the work.

I am still trying to finish up some of the research just for tonight and hope that I don't mess up. I'm going to be working through not just this, but next year's panel on Japanese Horror Media and a few other crazy Japanese stories.

I am also going to be getting a group together to do "Ghost Shit! Ghost Story: Audience Participation and Shit Show!" It is me making fun of the show and also allowing the audience to give some feedback to this Anime flop.

As for my writing panel, which is the smallest concern, I am doing something on Adult Fan Fiction and also how to write complicated adult situations. The truth is that smut is not always the easiest thing to write and yeah, I am going to be sending people to a porn fiction site that will help in writing sex scenes. Sometimes you have to go to a porn site just to get that kind of help, it helped me write those scenes a few times in adult fan fiction (and no I don't do rape). The truth is that many people are pretty strange when it comes to that kind of things...so I have to make that point that not everyone will be comfortable about going to a site that is also talking about sex constantly.

The last panel is a fan panel, so that one is not going to be as annoying as the writing one, though I am excited about showing some funny stuff to people even with NO DVD player. Hell, pointing people to sits and crazy shit helps.

Ready to test out!

Yup, that is right, I am revamping the entire story yet again, the truth is, I was frustrated the last few times I sat down to type it up and then went screw it! The truth is, that even when I'm ready to write, I'm about to throw in the towel...there is just something so frustrating about this.

So yeah, I am giving myself a bit of a break and starting to work on some panels for Daku Con 2019, yeah, I am planning ahead of schedule as I planned last year for the panels for 2018. The fact is, that I start that work and research right after con and start working through the problems and then updating information if I need it.

Also for next year, I am going to do round one of real editing for my book.

I am dropping out of StarFest 2019 due to scheduling conflicts with Colorado Anime Fest, I can go to one, but not both!

Daku Con is a few days away and I finished up work on the panels just within days. I am also working to help friends out. My former friend, Lynda is going to be there and yes, we made up in the most awesome way because guess what she is basically having the same medical problems and we both need someone to lean on to talk things out with. She also looks like she needs really good friends other than the three she has currently, so my friends and I are going to be adopting her!

About to give up...

People are cruel, that is a given, the truth is that yes, a short story was a victim, but it was my name attached to it and I felt terrible for writing it. Most often times there are is a sense of regret to write a story about something I like, I am just not trying to let it get to me, but it made me question my worth as a writer.

I know it was a review from nearly 10 years ago, but it haunts me still.

I was terrified my former friend would know the truth. The fact is that after 2015, she was not so close to me, but I knew she was upsetting me a bit. The fact is that many people who get upset with me are the ones who think I might write something I regret in my own story.

I have no patience for some people and it was because of that that it gets me in trouble. I had a former friend who was homeless and he mooched off me as a friend and it hurt, I figured most homeless by choice believe as he does. I was angry and lashed out because people need to stop using others to get by.

I worked so hard and yet, I had a former friend who tore me a new one for actually using Obamacare for my medical issue and then was shamed for even getting sick. I was later told by others he has cancer himself and yet, he used the fact I did preventive cancer treatments as something cosmetic. I was furious and lashed out at people who seemed to believe that being sick was my fault.

Now as I write my book and I realized one thing that even if I publish, I could be expected to deal with these said people or person again. The most trying is that one of them acts as if in order to be friends with a person, one has to change for her benefit and no one else's. She also expected me to give up writing The Dragon's Library and write in a style that was not mine.

I don't understand the whole concept of making modernization when it benefits little to anyone when it is in the concept of writing. I write what I feel is needed and to have fun, the fact is that if it was work like some Ghost Writer, I would rather die. I am writing for myself and for fun, and people should understand. I never understood people who put down others just to make themselves look big, this is why I find people who tell me to grow up and that my concept of imagination is mentally ill.

I have dreamed of being a writer since I was little and yet, we have these so-called supporters of one group or other telling others to grow up or else. Since when has imagination been a mental illness? 

Unintentional going to con, NDK

Yes, I am a Colorado local and I attended Nan Desu Kan only from Sunday and did not intend much interest of it. I am usually interested in Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and novels, not much interest in Anime due to past drama inside their community. They seem to only focus on what is popular and not care about other's feelings and it kind of hurts when you have people who think that you are just a doormat to walk on.

The truth is, I had fun because there were a bunch of people who like the same kind of Anime I like, one being Slayers, Detective Conan, and a few others. I have been inspired as a writer when it comes to stories like these. Slayers reminded me of Dungeons and Dragons and sometimes even Legend. I wish some people would realize that I have a great love also for Detective Conan who is an amazing character who gets little to no respect in the fandom.

Truthfully, I would love to be a fan again and enjoy it, but after hearing about what happened to someone and a bunch of drama that followed, there is a reason I kind of want to stay away more. I will be cosplaying Detective Conan for fun, nothing competitive and I just think people who do something out of spite are immature. There are reasons that many people do not like us, we bring so much baggage nowadays.

I would much rather go back to NDK with the memories I have with the first time seeing models and also enjoying the artshow. That is the most honest answer I can give as M.M. Fenney the writer, the person who people wanted as a doormat kind of died, and she wants to just go back to being who she is. The writer in me will mention that as I see this, I want to go to see the models, the amazing artists and also the people in artist alley.

The sad news is my eyes are not always what they used to be and I have a cataract in one eye so seeing is the hardest part for me. So here I was talking to people and walking a con floor with a migraine from hell, and Aspirin does not work for me AT ALL! So yes, I am taking four tiny pills of aspirin to just function at a convention. Gee...I hope I can get this fixed soon.

So anyway with the con out of the way and I am ordering pictures, I will be ready for Daku Con, my panels are set.