A Decision has to be made, my line in the sand

After seeing what happened to a pleasant Australian author and a Holocaust survivor, I'm deciding to halt talks with any US publishing houses unless something can be worked out. I'm sorry to say, but I don't want to sound bad, but I find what happened to be unacceptable and I would not feel comfortable with something happening to me like that in their countries because of what happened to them.

I will however continue work on my book, but I am very much not going to talk to anyone from the US publishing agencies until we figure out how to combat something like that. I am sorry, but my personal politics is that I do not agree with Trump or his supporters who want to deport all foreigners out of the US period, that's just wrong.

Truthfully, I believe part of my family is from England and  Germany and my family are immigrants from the 1890s, not a fair assumption to state that my family is bad because of their heritage either. We are all immigrants in one form or another, the US is in such horrible state at the moment, I don't see how any writers can get anything written without harsh criticisms or horrible name calling.

Vacation is Coming

Near the end of March, I'm going to be out of the area of Denver, in truth that's just a plan that I have been having with family for awhile. I am in search also for an editor is not my ex-boyfriend, that is something I just can't have right now.

I have been going through my book and preparing to type up half the story and move it from one place to another, after a horrible thoughts of dealing with people over the last few days. What is worse is my co-worker, who has been sick, was actually lashing out at me and no realizing how she created a bad work place, she was actually surprised when a manager told her what was going on.

She had no idea how horrible I felt when she would put me down and she heard it from others that I was considering no going on vacation because of it, she flipped and told me I am going and that she was sorry. It was a horrible situation and she realized that no matter what kind of problems she had, she should never take it out on someone who doesn't want her upset but wants to stay working.

The fact is, she was not aware that I have been stressing out over finding an editor, truthfully I have not told my coworkers anything

Never been so...insulted! Art aside

Dear friends,
I am not a Trump supporter, I am a writer and I write my own fiction, not the standards of someone never reads a book, much less knows what its about...

I'm sorry to tell people this, but I can't support a president who takes the arts and thinks its only for the rich. I went to see several art exhibits with my father over the years and no greater artist is the one who is talented by no wealth at all. Wealthy don't need to know how to draw or to do what they do, they just have it handed to them, they don't know poverty or even what its like to be poor, they can just demand food.

My fiance and I don't have money all the time. Truthfully, it is horrible to see artists disrespected, so I'm thinking of actually delaying my book another few years because I'm sorry, but if Donald Trump wants me to be a rich person to publish, then he's sorely mistaken.

Sincerely,
M.M. Fenney

Back from Con and back to Work

No sooner I get back to work, I got a person tearing into me about going at all, then again, she had a wreck and I guess it must be that. The truth is, no matter what I do, I do it all wrong in her eyes, the truth is, I don't know what to do. Then again, when I start getting published, I think this girl is going to cause a problem, mostly going to tell me..."So that makes you a big shot uh?" or making snide remarks of "Whose going to read your shit?"

The truth is,  I get enough of that from people on FB who believe that no one reads anymore and that I'm just fooling myself, I'm like a fucking joke to them. I mention I love to write and I get people making fun of it, no matter what I tell them. I stopped telling people that I'm a writer...the truth is, its a hobby and I enjoy every minute.

I started work on the second book yesterday and during a break, but the truth is, I'm kind of scared of what will happen if I do get published. I'm terrified of what might happen if I am successful.

Honestly, I'm working on the new art work too

Putting yourself out there at....an Anime con

Yes, I was talking to a publishing company at an Anime Convention, I was sort of hoping for that whole, this can't be real...great...now what? I don't know, I don't have a business card, nor do I want one considering the last time I put one together, I must have thought it looked horrible. I have told no one of the plans, nor will I considering I kind of ran into a former friend.

I honestly hoped that she wouldn't attempt to be a downer, but honestly, I'm kind of glad I didn't say one word to her, and also considering my phone is changed, no harassing IMs. So I'm kind of glad she didn't look on here either, then again, I doubt she would read a journal about writing and its trappings, she's already convinced I'm too old fashioned.

Oh well...so far, the convention in itself was actually kind of fun, I didn't stay at the hotel ,but I'm returning next year and running panels. I have run several over the year, but I had to take a year off last year to gather my thoughts.

So far, I'm planning on doing one on Japanese Horror Movies and Anime, I'm Over It; A Guide to Handle Drama and Fandom Shinangians, and Fanfiction to Writing My Own Fiction. Sort of an idea of what I'm going to talk about next year.

Editing while upset

As I am no fan of our president, I did not vote for him, I had to sit through his new Supreme Court nominee thing and it was sickening. I wanted nothing to do with it, considering I was waiting for Jeopardy, but it seems that even watching that never cooled my nerves.

I am sitting there in a break room brought out my book while eating some bread and drinking a soda, editing Chapter 4 or 5 of my book, I'm sorry, I was too tired to think only to write down and edit, so that was my mind set as of yesterday night.

I said nothing to anyone about how I felt until later, I'm sorry to put my opinion on here, I'm trying to keep this about writing a book, but I'm am just going to say it now. We are a nation of immigrants, majority of the US citizens have had one or more family members from another country. It is sad to think that we as Americans are now doing what was promised not to do after World War II.

I have Muslim friends who are not terrorists, who have come here as exchange students who want an education that we offered them, now they are told they cannot even enter the country?

I'm sorry, but I did not vote for this president, I do not believe in any of the things he's doing...I am truly sorry for anyone who are reading this from any country. I'm trapped here and I feel the horrible feeling of discrimination against people that I have no hate toward.

I'm going to go back to writing, but still...this is the horrible feeling of watching the news and wondering why...when I have never felt like this is my country anymore.