About to give up...

People are cruel, that is a given, the truth is that yes, a short story was a victim, but it was my name attached to it and I felt terrible for writing it. Most often times there are is a sense of regret to write a story about something I like, I am just not trying to let it get to me, but it made me question my worth as a writer.

I know it was a review from nearly 10 years ago, but it haunts me still.

I was terrified my former friend would know the truth. The fact is that after 2015, she was not so close to me, but I knew she was upsetting me a bit. The fact is that many people who get upset with me are the ones who think I might write something I regret in my own story.

I have no patience for some people and it was because of that that it gets me in trouble. I had a former friend who was homeless and he mooched off me as a friend and it hurt, I figured most homeless by choice believe as he does. I was angry and lashed out because people need to stop using others to get by.

I worked so hard and yet, I had a former friend who tore me a new one for actually using Obamacare for my medical issue and then was shamed for even getting sick. I was later told by others he has cancer himself and yet, he used the fact I did preventive cancer treatments as something cosmetic. I was furious and lashed out at people who seemed to believe that being sick was my fault.

Now as I write my book and I realized one thing that even if I publish, I could be expected to deal with these said people or person again. The most trying is that one of them acts as if in order to be friends with a person, one has to change for her benefit and no one else's. She also expected me to give up writing The Dragon's Library and write in a style that was not mine.

I don't understand the whole concept of making modernization when it benefits little to anyone when it is in the concept of writing. I write what I feel is needed and to have fun, the fact is that if it was work like some Ghost Writer, I would rather die. I am writing for myself and for fun, and people should understand. I never understood people who put down others just to make themselves look big, this is why I find people who tell me to grow up and that my concept of imagination is mentally ill.

I have dreamed of being a writer since I was little and yet, we have these so-called supporters of one group or other telling others to grow up or else. Since when has imagination been a mental illness?