Troubling my past

Writing for me is a break from my life, and honestly, I don't love my past as much and getting messages from people while working is not fun. Truthfully, unless its my editor who let's face it, loves to get on me for this or that, I'm not going to get into details over that, considering he's also my fiance.

I'm to the point that I have not been honestly thinking about writing for a few days considering that I'm still plotting a trip to Orlando with my nephew and working on fun stuff. I'm no entirely sure what the hell is going on at the moment.

The message from a person from my past is a little annoying, but I'm like, okay, M.M. you can handle this kind of stuff, don't think it bad. Truthfully, it was more guilt trip than anything else, I just remained quietly hopeful this person finds their path. I know he's a person who might say this is slander, but I hope he finds his way and not think so ill of people who have hurt him. I moved beyond that and I'm thankful for it.

Yes, I have people in my past I dislike, but I don't go very far with it, I just sit there and shake my head as they make asses of themselves, while I just watch. It is not my place to say anything against them or do anything, I can say my peace of my disappointments in life, but I'm not going to talk anymore of these people who have hurt me...I write what I feel in my heart in a book, not the doubts of those who doubted me.

When I started this project I was angry at being hurt, at having people force their lives into mine, to block me out or walk all over me. I stopped wanting to make those connections again and made new ones that have been stronger and much more fulfilling, friendship is about meeting people who make the movement to understand, not change the person to suit their needs. Running away may not be an answer for the said person who contacted me, sometimes facing facts, knowing that being a jerk did something to them that made people hate them. That's what matters...

When I was thinking of the fact the library was built on my desire to shut out the world and then build a world of great magic around me, yes, it was selfish, but then I started to make a story. I started designing characters within that world and making sense of it. This is my therapy for losing friends over the years, this is my hope that people who went through the same pain find it too.