I have been a long time fan of Star Wars since I was four years old, sitting in my father's lap watching it on an old TV that had seen better days. I remember admiring Princess Leia, I remember wanting to be just like her and also being like Luke Skywalker, wanting to be a Jedi. I wanted so badly as a child to just for once be a hero just like her, the princess who was rescued, but could hold her own in some cases. She was not entirely helpless in a sense, and I guess when I was reading through my characters, Kel was more like Princess Leia sometimes.
I was crying as I heard the news of my hero, I could not hold back my tears as I was just hearing of her loss and the moment when I realized I would not see her on twitter. I loved her riddles on there, sometimes trying to solve her emoji and script that made her so great at the game, waiting for her followers to give her an answer.
I would turn on twitter and read her opinions and sometimes I would be shocked that somehow she was saying what was actually flickering in my mind. I remember words of encouragement when I mentioned that I was a scaredy cat, that I would have hid under a table if given the option of meeting her, that I was scared of embarassing myself. She must of thought me a funny person to say such things even though I would have told her the reason was I am just an easily startled person.
She was like the good friend on twitter who challenged the normal thought patterns of others, who loved to remind us we are human and we need to have a heart.
As I was sitting staring at messages of her death, of the memories that were shared on twitter, the moments my heart went completely soft. I never cried this much in a long time, my hero of childhood long passed who made me feel like I wasn't useless or a bad person. You are my hero and maybe more than that considering that I did start on the second half The Dragon's Library today.
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